Monday, June 30, 2014

These days...

How possibly have 5 weeks flown by since I've been on my little blog home?!

Quite honestly, I miss it.  A lot.  I miss connecting with all of my blog friends.  I miss having this little outlet for my thoughts.

I promised myself I would give myself a little time to adjust to being a mom.  I promised myself I wouldn't "busy-up" my spare time, but that I would hold, snuggle, play with and love on my newborn.  However, I also promised myself I wouldn't lose sight of the things that were important to me before I became a mom.  And this blog is one of those things.

I feel like this little blog is having a little bit of an identity crisis.  For an entire year it has been a place people have come to see an incredible, "feel-good" story unfold.  To get a dose of "there really are still great people in this world".  And while every single day when I look at this face...

...I am reminded of the miraculous way she was brought into this world and so very thankful - the reality is that this little blog of mine is going to have to return to a little bit of normalcy.  Sometimes I still look back on the past year of my life and I literally cannot believe that really happened to me.  I am so thankful that this story has been so inspiring to so many people.  And while obviously, our story isn't "over", it's much more "normal"...and we are so happy it is.  These days, I'm thankful to get up and feed my baby at 5:00 am.  These days, I change clothes more times in 24 hours than I used to in 72 hours because the smell of puke just isn't my thing.  These days, I live for big toothless grins like this:

And I couldn't be happier.  However, I feel like each day when people log in to see this blog - it's a let-down of sorts because I no longer have big, huge miracles to share with you.  I no longer have tear jerking posts to write.  So for the last few weeks, I've really been thinking a lot about why I should or shouldn't continue to blog.  Here's what I've come up with:

While I don't have those things to blog about anymore, I do have normal, everyday life with my adorable baby to blog about.  I do have "I'm-about-to-pull-my-hair-out" mommy moments to blog about.  I still have organizing and other projects that some people might like to see.  And on top of all of that, the entire reason I started blogging was to keep an online chronicle of our lives that my kids could one day look back on and read.  I want my family who lives far away to see some of the things our little family does from day-to-day.  And quite frankly, I want all of you who I have never met, yet prayed us through our journey, to get to experience a small piece of this miracle you all helped come true.

So, I am committed to continuing to blog...about my incredibly boring, repetitive, blessed, amazing life.  I hope you will join me.  :)

Lots of Love -

Monday, May 26, 2014

Happy Memorial Day

Memorial Day always marks the beginning of summer - pools open, long weekend, typically warm weather, picnics, grilling out, extra family a great weekend!

This year is certainly no different.  But each year on Memorial Day I genuinely try to stop and think about the real reason for this holiday.  I am so thankful for the men and women who defend our country and the freedoms we enjoy.  :)

And Kamdyn is celebrating too :)

6 Weeks

She's patriotic today because it's Memorial Day :)

5 Weeks

{a week late - sorry!}

Monday, May 12, 2014

4 Weeks

This week she has started really focusing her eyes, smiling more, and making noises as she is beginning to discover her voice.  In addition, she's really getting good at sticking her tongue out {as evidenced by this picture}  :)

I also thought it would be fun to share some random pics {since I have approximately 4,873 pictures each week}

Sooooo, here's a little photo dump -

Nap time with daddy is awesome!
chatting with sissy
On Mother's Day after she asked Kim to be her God Mother
Working so hard to use her hands!
Soooooo sleepy.  :)
That's it for this week!  Have a fabulous week, friends!

Saturday, May 10, 2014

'Twas the Night before Mother's Day...

...and I cannot stop thinking about how overwhelmingly thankful I am to not be dreading tomorrow.  For the first time in 4 years, I am not wishing tomorrow would be over before it's even begun.

I would literally cry myself to sleep on the night before Mother's Day.  I would cry because I didn't want to go to church and see all the moms with their adorable children.  I would cry because when we went to lunch with my family I would need to smile an be happy to celebrate my incredible mom and sister for the wonderful mothers that they are...but I still felt left out.  I would cry because even though my sweet husband always did a little celebrating because I am Kaitlyn's step-mom, it didn't change the fact that I wasn't a "real" mom.  I would cry because every solitary place I went, there were mothers.  I would cry because quite frankly, it's not fair.

Tonight, as I'm sitting on my couch looking at the little miracle who has made me a mom - I cry for different reasons.  I am so, so thankful to be her mom.  And I have realized that while I think about Julie most every day anyway, Mother's Day will always be a day that she will be in the top of my mind.  While Kamdyn will grow up calling her Aunt JuJu - the reality is that Julie is her birthmother and Kamdyn wouldn't be here without her.  And I wouldn't be a mother without her.  So, not only will I be celebrating being a mom tomorrow, every year on Mother's Day, I will celebrate Julie...for giving me my reason to celebrate.

With all the thankfulness I have in my heart, there is still a little place of sadness for all the women who are sad tonight thinking about tomorrow.  I pray that I never forget what that feels like.  While that might sound strange to most of you, I actually think that pain makes me a better mom.  That pain reminds me how badly I wanted to be a mom.  That pain allows me to be compassionate and empathetic to all those women who are experiencing pain caused by infertility, loss, or loneliness.

I will spend my day tomorrow celebrating moms, being thankful that someone in this world finally calls me Mama, and praying for those who desperately wish they felt like they had a reason to celebrate tomorrow.  I hope you will join me.

Lots of Love -

Monday, May 5, 2014

3 Weeks

And a side-by-side from last week {which is deceiving because she's sitting up better this week.  Last week she was a little 'floppy' - but still, she looks so much bigger}!

She is such a good baby!  She is so calm and just goes with the flow...except when she's hungry - then she loses her mind.  That girl is serious about her food.  :)

That's all for this week -