Happy First Birthday, Kamdyn!

Dear Kamdyn,

Even though I tried to stop time, it didn't work and today you are turning one year old.  I have no idea how possibly this happened, but it did.  

You are the sweetest girl, Kamdyn.  You grin from ear-to-ear and squeal when daddy or I walk into the room.  When you're really excited, you pat our shoulder repeatedly.  It melts my heart.  

You love to play.  As long as you can see one of us, you are content.  You entertain yourself for sometimes up to an hour, babbling to your phone, smooching your baby dolls, bouncing your ball, or playing on your music table.  You like to make a huge mess and empty every container of toys - and I don't argue with you because seeing you play makes me so happy.

You love to eat.  You will eat pretty much anything - especially if it's something Daddy or I are eating.  You only have 3 teeth (two in the front on the bottom and one molar on top), but you gum most any food we give you.  You're a problem solver.  I like that.

You adore your sister.  Because she isn't with us all the time, sometimes we go lots of days without seeing her, but it doesn't matter to you - you just pick up right where you left off with her.  I hope that never changes.  Having a sister is a pretty incredible thing.  Never forget that.

Your dad is head over heels in love with you, Kamdyn.  At least once per day, he looks at you and says to me "My god, I love her so much".  And the feeling is mutual.  You love him SO much.  You'll sit on his lap and let him read you stories, you mimic every sound he makes, you clap when you hear his voice on the radio, your eyes light up the moment you see him.

There are so many people in your life who love you with their whole hearts.  I'm not sure there has ever been a child who is loved by more people than you are.  You are so blessed, baby girl.

The bond you have with your Aunt JuJu, Uncle Danny, and their 4 precious kiddos warms my heart SO much.  Watching your eyes light up when you hear their voices is a pretty incredible sight.  I know you KNOW...you recognize those voices.  Gives me goosebumps every single time.

And as for me, Little One, you have completely stolen my heart.  I adore you.  There has not been one single day of your life that I haven't been totally in awe of the miracle that you are.  I have loved the big moments of being your mommy - the first day you sat up, the first time you crawled, your first giggle - but most of all, I have loved the little day-to-day memories of being your mom.

I am so, so, SO thankful to be your mom, Kamdyn.  The bond we have is something people comment about almost every single day.  You love daddy, but you are for sure a Mama's girl.  You love to snuggle me before bedtime, you wave to me every morning when I come get you out of bed, you and I play and sing every night after dinner - I am so excited for all the fun things we are going to do together as you grow up.  

I have lots of jobs in this life.  I'm Daddy's wife, Oma & Opa's daughter, Tante's sister, I'm a friend to people, I'm a teacher to my students, I'm a coach to my dancers - I have lots of jobs.  But of all of those jobs, Kamdyn - being your mommy is far and away my most favorite.

Happy 1st Birthday, sweet girl - I love you to the moon and back.

xoxo -

Mommy :)

I remember.

One year ago tonight, I wrote THIS blog post.  I remember being so, so anxious and wishing the clock would move a little faster.  We were being admitted to the hospital at midnight to begin induction and that day crawled by.  I remember sitting on my couch after I posted to the blog, posting my #keveryday - where I posted this photo:

I remember being so nervous.  I'm a details person, and the details of parenting are absent.  There is no schedule.  There are no real rules.  There's no instruction manual.  I remember asking other mommy friends about their day-to-day schedules, things I should know, products I needed to have, advice I couldn't live without.

I remember walking into the hospital and seeing all the sweet newborn things - the bassinet, the warmer, the footprint stuff

And then I remember thinking, "Holy hell.  In a few hours, a baby will be laying in there.  Not just A baby...MY baby"

I remember taking this one last photo of Julie pregnant - and being oddly emotional because I knew it was the end of something really, really incredible that she and I shared.  Every single week she sent me a picture.  Every week.  Never missed one.  And this was the last one I would take.  It was so surreal.

I remember Dan, Julie and I trying our hardest to get some sleep that night - even though I'm not sure any of us really slept.  I remember us entertaining ourselves for most of the day that day.  I remember sweet Julie and her incredible husband, Dan taking lap after lap after lap around the labor and delivery floor trying to get that baby out.  I remember the sweet sound of the lullaby that plays at the hospital every time a baby is born.

I remember making bets on when she would be born and how big she would be {Kaitlyn won.}

I remember the nurses telling us it was finally time.  I remember numbly walking into the bathroom to change into my gown so I could do skin-to-skin with her immediately.  I remember things moving in super-speed.  I remember squeezing Julie's hand as she pushed.  I remember the doctor saying, "are we expecting a baby with lots and lots of dark hair?" and thinking in that second, that was the first physical feature I knew for sure about my child...she had lots of dark hair.

Then I remember time freezing in this moment

7:28 pm on April 14, 2014.  I remember being so, unbelievably thankful that she was here.  That she was healthy.  And that she was our's.  I remember wondering how possibly I lived 30 years of my life without her.

I remember handing my phone to Kevin and asking him to snap this picture of me and worrying that I would look hideous :)

I usually hate pictures of myself.  But this one is probably my favorite of all time.  I'm not sure I have ever been more overjoyed.  Just absolute, pure, unbridled happiness.

I remember she was screaming like it was her job.  Mad as a hornet.  She wasn't having it.  At all.  And I remember thinking, "oh boy - this is gonna be fun in the middle of the night" {for the record, she still has this same temper when she's really mad}

I remember them wrapping her up and handing her to Kevin and when I turned around, I saw this

And I remember thinking, "I've never been more in love with this man in all my life."

I remember introducing Kamdyn to her sister and feeling so grateful that Kaitlyn's mom agreed to bring her back to the hospital so late on a school night

And I remember Kaitlyn stopping what she was doing, running over to Julie laying in bed and saying "thank you for my sister" {insert ugly cry}

I remember thinking "ohmygosh - this is our first picture as a family of 4"

I remember handing Kamdyn to Julie for the first time and watching with tears in my eyes as I realized that everything I ever worried about before she was born about her relationship with Julie or whether she would know I was her mama, or whether I would immediately love her since I didn't give birth to her - all of those fears were for nothing.  In this moment...

In that moment, as I watched my daughter laying in the arms of the woman who brought her into this world, the ONLY thing I felt was love.  I knew in that moment that Julie's family and our's were going to be forever-family.  And that Kamdyn would know and celebrate the way she was brought into this world because we would encourage and facilitate a close relationship and bond between Kamdyn and them - all 6 of them.

I remember her looking up at me when I was taking this picture and locking eyes with her.  And in that single instant, I knew she stole my heart.

I remember her first bath that night.  I remember all of her hair.  And then I remember putting a bow on that little head - two hours old and wearing her first bow :)

I remember being so worried I would forget the details.  I remember making Dan promise that he would take lots of pictures so I wouldn't forget in the craziness of the day.  I remember thinking "I really should blog tonight" but being so exhausted and smitten with her that I just couldn't.

I remember so many details from that day.

And tonight, as I laid my baby down for her last sleep before she turns one tomorrow, I held her with tears streaming down my face, silently thanking God for the past 364 days with her.  Thanking God that he has been faithful in His gentle reminders to slow down and enjoy these sweet days with her.  Thanking Him that I still have so much to look forward to in her life.  Thanking God for the countless times that he has lovingly nudged me to be thankful, even when it's hard - even when she's crabby, even when I'm sick, even when I'm out of patience - He has patiently laid on my heart time and time again that she is the answer to every prayer I prayed and I will never get this day with her again.

Tomorrow, my sweet baby turns ONE.  I'll be back tomorrow with a birthday post - but tonight, I'm just reflecting on the single greatest year of our lives.  Thanks for praying with and for us, friends - and thanks for continuing to follow our little family.  We are blessed by you.

xoxo -

Life Lately

Life lately is filled with this pretty girl!  She has 3 teeth and is more and more fun every single day.  She is starting to interact with people and mimics everything we do - from loud noises to patting us on the shoulder when she's excited to see us.

She loves to play with her toys, listen to music, watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and read books.  She will eat most anything we put in front of her, unless it's baby food and we're eating "big people food" - she really wants what we're eating.

She's going to be one year old next week, and I frankly cannot figure out how that happened.  I feel like yesterday I was staring at this:

{1 week old}

I just cannot even believe this was her last week:

She has such a great temperament.  She loves to play alone, but doesn't really like to be in a room by herself - as long as she can see one of us, she's good to go.  She still puts herself to sleep at night - we just give her kisses and put her in her bed with her music on and she goes right to sleep

This is an awful picture of her, but I had to snap it quickly because when I went to get her out of her carseat, this is what I found.  Just so nasty.  And notice how before I corrected her, I snapped a pic?!  :)  Priorities, people.

She has figured out how to stand up with the help of certain surfaces - mostly her crib.  Frequently I come in to her room in the morning to find this.  You might also notice she's showing you another of her tricks...spitting.  Yep.  That's a real treat.

My daycare provider is, hands down, without a doubt, no questions asked - THE BEST.  Kamdyn loves going to daycare and her face lights up when she sees Miss Katie every single morning.  She has friends at daycare that she likes to play with - and even though she's the littlest there, she doesn't really take much nonsense from those big kids.  I'm told she holds her own just fine.  In addition to all these wonderful things about our daycare, almost daily I get adorable-ness like this in my text box...gets me thru many days.  Love that girl!  :)

Here she is in her Easter dress on Easter Sunday.  She just melts my heart.  And those sandals absolutely crack me up.

I'm really missing blogging.  A lot.  And I feel like God is nudging me to hop back on the blog-train...approximately 4 people in the past week have asked me about it!  I've blogged before about how overwhelming it is to me once I've gone months without posting, it feels like I need some sort of big post - but I don't.  The intention of this blog has been first of all, to preserve my memories and second of all, to keep family and friends far away in the loop of our lives - and these little day-to-day things are our life.  So, one little, nonsense post at a time - I'm gonna try to hop back on the wagon.  :)

We're on the downhill slide to the weekend, people!  We can do this!

Monday {Night} Musings

Anyone else holding on for dear life, riding the crazy train, and just really hoping Thanksgiving hurries on up?

Holy wow.  I'm driving the struggle bus lately.  Just trying as hard as I can to keep it all together.

{notice how I just went ahead and slipped on in here without mention of my (yet again) months long absence from the blogosphere?}

Here's the deal.  I've determined a photo dump is what you people want...not listening to my random-ness tonight...so, here ya go.

This kid can eat.  She loves her food.

This is serious.  Those pigtails are a riot. 

matching Halloween outfits, matching pigtails, matching attitudes

Little Miss was a lady bug for Halloween.  It was the cutest bug I've ever seen. 

The weather has gotten SO cold this week...we've had to break out the winter hat.  I hate the cold.  But I love the hat.  And I love the girl even more. 

SEVEN months old.  Simply unbelievable.

I'm really fortunate because we have a live in professional photographer.  I have literally thousands of pictures of Kamdyn.  But of all of them, this one ranks right up there as my most favorite.  I love her in blue.  I love the little mischief that's in her eyes in this picture.  I love her dimple.  I just love her.

That's all for today.  Be back this week with more updates.  Promise.

Testing....Hello?

I officially suck as a mommy-blogger.  I'm sorry everyone - a little someone has been keeping me from this little place I used to call home.

I think about blogging every day - but then when I get home, Kamdyn wants to tell me about her day, Kevin & I are trying to eat at home more so I need to make dinner, that load of laundry needs to be folded, the dust is piled an inch thick on my coffee table...and yet, all I want to do is sit and play with or talk to my sweet baby.  And I'm told from every single mother I talk to about this to do just that.  The dust, laundry, cleaning, and other household stuff can wait...but this baby girl - well, she won't ever be 4 months old again.  ((sigh)) and so, this little blog of mine?  She's taken a hit.  A major hit.  Because she's been bumped down on my priority list by lots and lots of things.  But when I have a second when everyone is asleep - I can steal a few minutes and give you all a photo dump of this little miracle.

Little miss is 20 weeks old already!  She loves to kick, babble, squeal, smile, and giggle.  She's trying really hard to sit up and roll over.  She is also becoming interested in playing with chewing on toys.

When she went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago, she was about 25 inches long and almost 14 lbs. 

She hates being "carried like a baby" - we always have to have her on our hip or sitting up facing out.  She also very rarely wants to snuggle to go to sleep anymore.  Sad face for mommy.  She wants to be laid down and she puts herself to sleep.  {I do know how blessed I am about all of these things because I hear these sleeping habits are very hard to break or teach}

She is the sweetest, most well natured baby.  She is usually happy and content...unless she's hungry, in which case she is 0-60.  She is getting into a stage where she recognizes people...which is both good and bad.  I feel terrible when she doesn't want to go to someone, but the toothless grin I get when I pick her up from daycare each day is enough to melt my whole heart.

She has changed my life in 100,000 ways, and she is absolutely the very best part of every single day.

I'll try to be a better blogger...but having a less adorable distraction would really help that cause alot.

Happy Friday everyone!