Friday Favorites

Trying to get myself back in the habit of regular blogging.  :)

Figured I would try to round up 5 things each week that I'm loving.  Baby stuff, mom stuff, teacher stuff, just girl stuff - whatever I'm feeling at the moment. 

The flip side?  If I'm missing some awesome stuff - let me know!  Always in the market for new must-have items! 

Anyway, here we go.  :)

I've really been making an effort to do more reading.  Not fifth-grade reading for my students...but reading for my own enjoyment.  It's an expectation that my 5th graders read for 150 minutes/week; which is approximately 30 minutes/day, so I've been trying to follow the same expectation.  To be honest, most days - I'm horrible at it.  But on the weekends, I try to make up for it!  I've read lots of really great books in the past couple months since taking on this personal challenge.  I plan on doing a book review soon, but wanted to share my recent favorite.

Amazon

I love everything Emily Giffin writes.  Seriously.  I just loved this book.  An easy, quick read.

I watch alot of reality TV - in fact, it's most of what I watch.  Last year, I was introduced to the Real Houswives and I'm thankful that Beverly Hills and Orange County are on opposite seasons because it just keeps me going...just a never ending dose of shenanigans.  The reunions are always ridiculous.  But this season?  Oh.my.crazy.  And these two?

Just wow.  They need to just pump the brakes on the crazy.  It's alot.

My child will usually eat most anything we put in front of her.  These things though...

Like crack in a can.  She would eat this entire container in one sitting if I would let her.  Girlfriend loves her baby Cheetos.

My morning routine has changed significantly since my husband switched from being on the air in the afternoons to being on the air in the mornings.  Before, I could take my sweet time getting reading without a little someone fussing, into everything she shouldn't be, or climbing up my leg.  Now, time is critical.  Anything I can do to cut down time is my friend.  My hair is thick, naturally wavy, and sometimes hard to manage.  I've spent many years straightening and fighting with it to be something it's not - so recently, I've just been embracing it for what it is.  With the help of this miracle potion:

Amazon

Smells delicious.  Keeps the frizz under control.  Doesn't leave my hair sticky or stiff.  Sold.

Lately my 5th graders have really been impressing me with their technology abilities - they are SO brilliant at ways to use technology to make their lives easier.  For instance, the other day, we weren't done taking notes on a poem but our time was up - so I was quickly jotting things down in my plan book so we could pick up where we left off the next day - meanwhile, my kids?  Well, they were using their devices to just simply snap a picture.  **insert teacher feeling SO dumb**  Anyway, I've been trying to find ways to use tech to my advantage in my classroom and have been playing around with Google Classroom

It's a great way for my kids to make, receive, and submit materials to me...but more importantly, it's a nice platform for them to be able to collaborate with each other outside of the classroom, school, or normal hours.  We are loving it so far. 

Alright, there's my 5 for today.  I could probably rattle off 5 more right now - but I'll stop.  Have a great weekend, friends!

xoxo -

Testing....Hello?

I officially suck as a mommy-blogger.  I'm sorry everyone - a little someone has been keeping me from this little place I used to call home.

I think about blogging every day - but then when I get home, Kamdyn wants to tell me about her day, Kevin & I are trying to eat at home more so I need to make dinner, that load of laundry needs to be folded, the dust is piled an inch thick on my coffee table...and yet, all I want to do is sit and play with or talk to my sweet baby.  And I'm told from every single mother I talk to about this to do just that.  The dust, laundry, cleaning, and other household stuff can wait...but this baby girl - well, she won't ever be 4 months old again.  ((sigh)) and so, this little blog of mine?  She's taken a hit.  A major hit.  Because she's been bumped down on my priority list by lots and lots of things.  But when I have a second when everyone is asleep - I can steal a few minutes and give you all a photo dump of this little miracle.

Little miss is 20 weeks old already!  She loves to kick, babble, squeal, smile, and giggle.  She's trying really hard to sit up and roll over.  She is also becoming interested in playing with chewing on toys.

When she went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago, she was about 25 inches long and almost 14 lbs. 

She hates being "carried like a baby" - we always have to have her on our hip or sitting up facing out.  She also very rarely wants to snuggle to go to sleep anymore.  Sad face for mommy.  She wants to be laid down and she puts herself to sleep.  {I do know how blessed I am about all of these things because I hear these sleeping habits are very hard to break or teach}

She is the sweetest, most well natured baby.  She is usually happy and content...unless she's hungry, in which case she is 0-60.  She is getting into a stage where she recognizes people...which is both good and bad.  I feel terrible when she doesn't want to go to someone, but the toothless grin I get when I pick her up from daycare each day is enough to melt my whole heart.

She has changed my life in 100,000 ways, and she is absolutely the very best part of every single day.

I'll try to be a better blogger...but having a less adorable distraction would really help that cause alot.

Happy Friday everyone!

These days...

How possibly have 5 weeks flown by since I've been on my little blog home?!

Quite honestly, I miss it.  A lot.  I miss connecting with all of my blog friends.  I miss having this little outlet for my thoughts.

I promised myself I would give myself a little time to adjust to being a mom.  I promised myself I wouldn't "busy-up" my spare time, but that I would hold, snuggle, play with and love on my newborn.  However, I also promised myself I wouldn't lose sight of the things that were important to me before I became a mom.  And this blog is one of those things.

I feel like this little blog is having a little bit of an identity crisis.  For an entire year it has been a place people have come to see an incredible, "feel-good" story unfold.  To get a dose of "there really are still great people in this world".  And while every single day when I look at this face...

...I am reminded of the miraculous way she was brought into this world and so very thankful - the reality is that this little blog of mine is going to have to return to a little bit of normalcy.  Sometimes I still look back on the past year of my life and I literally cannot believe that really happened to me.  I am so thankful that this story has been so inspiring to so many people.  And while obviously, our story isn't "over", it's much more "normal"...and we are so happy it is.  These days, I'm thankful to get up and feed my baby at 5:00 am.  These days, I change clothes more times in 24 hours than I used to in 72 hours because the smell of puke just isn't my thing.  These days, I live for big toothless grins like this:

And I couldn't be happier.  However, I feel like each day when people log in to see this blog - it's a let-down of sorts because I no longer have big, huge miracles to share with you.  I no longer have tear jerking posts to write.  So for the last few weeks, I've really been thinking a lot about why I should or shouldn't continue to blog.  Here's what I've come up with:

While I don't have those things to blog about anymore, I do have normal, everyday life with my adorable baby to blog about.  I do have "I'm-about-to-pull-my-hair-out" mommy moments to blog about.  I still have organizing and other projects that some people might like to see.  And on top of all of that, the entire reason I started blogging was to keep an online chronicle of our lives that my kids could one day look back on and read.  I want my family who lives far away to see some of the things our little family does from day-to-day.  And quite frankly, I want all of you who I have never met, yet prayed us through our journey, to get to experience a small piece of this miracle you all helped come true.

So, I am committed to continuing to blog...about my incredibly boring, repetitive, blessed, amazing life.  I hope you will join me.  :)

Lots of Love -

You're Gonna Miss This

Tonight was my last dance class before Kamdyn.  The first in a long list of "lasts" - last night was our last Sunday night in our house alone... soon we will be counting the last time we go to the grocery store without either having to find someone to watch our daughter or bringing her with us, or the last time we eat dinner just the two of us without having to find a babysitter, etc.

I have dreamt about this for my entire life.  I have never worked harder to earn any job as I have to earn the job of MOM.  I have never in my life felt more certain that I want something as I am that I want this miracle baby.  And yet, a little tiny piece of me is a little bit sad because nothing will ever be the same.  I hesitate to even type that because I can just hear all of your groans or see your eye rolls - all of you who have read with me as I've gone month after month without getting pregnant, as we mourned that I wouldn't carry my own child, as we've patiently waited for this angel baby to arrive, and mostly all of you who are in the deep, dark valleys of infertility - I hesitate to say anything aside from THANK YOU and how grateful I am to be where I am - and while I am overwhelmed with gratitude and joy for this gift I'm being given - I also feel like I need to share this other little feeling that creeps into my heart as her birthday approaches.

Monday's have traditionally been a night I am extremely busy and frankly don't always look forward to.  I go from teaching, to coaching my high school team, then a quick dinner, and straight to the studio to teach dance until 8:45...it's a long day.  And when I get home, I plop on the couch and watch mindless TV while surfing the internet or doing other tasks that require zero energy or thought.  As I was driving home, I was thinking about how in a couple of weeks I will be responsible for another human being.  Coming home and laying on the couch with Kevin watching TV and reading on our iPads will get a little more complicated.  And it made me a little bit sad.  Not because I don't want with every fiber of my being to be a mom.  Not because I don't love Kamdyn already with every bone in my body.  But because I have loved this phase of my life.  I love coming home and making dinner for just Kevin & I.  I love that he and I can run to the store at 9:00 PM just because we feel like it.  I love that we can go to sleep at 8:30 when we want to.  I love that we can sit and talk for hours on our couch about nothing or everything.  I have loved every day of the life we have built...and while that is not ending - it is changing in ways that I can't even imagine yet.

And while I was thinking of all of this on my way home, the song "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins came on the radio.  Tears welled up in my eyes.  That song has always been kind of catchy and I've always liked it and sung along with it - but today...today I got it.

She was staring out that window, of that SUV
Complaining, saying I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said I was just like you

[Chorus]
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now 
But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her It's a nice place
She says It'll do for now
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says Baby, just slow down

[Chorus]
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now 
But you're gonna miss this

Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
She keeps apologizin'
He says They don't bother me. 
I've got 2 babies of my own. 
One's 36, one's 23.
Huh, it's hard to believe, but ...

[Chorus]
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around 
You may not know it now 
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna miss this
Yeah, you're gonna miss this

Today, as tears streamed down my face, I got it.  When people always used to tell me not to wish away the time before I had kids and I would get so pissed off - I got it now.  When my dad used to tell me not to grow up before I had to - I got it now.  When parents of teenagers tell me to enjoy every single sleepless night with my tiny infant - I got it.  I get it.  

So I pledge to continue to remind myself that one day, I will look back and miss whatever phase I'm currently in.  I pledge to work hard to not wish away a solitary moment.  And I pledge to try to enjoy every single good, bad, ugly, awesome, terrifying, incredible part of this wild ride I'm about to begin.

That was what I like to call a "Heart Dump" - all of that was on my heart tonight and I'm glad I got it out.  Perhaps some of you might be able to tell me I haven't completely lost my mind?!  Because I'm currently feeling like I need some affirmation!  Or medication?!  :)

That's all -

Goodnight, friends!

Grown up Christmas list

How is it possible that Christmas is tomorrow?!  I am enjoying slow time with my family over this break.  I'm not wishing away time.  I'm living in the moment.  I'm snapping pictures.  I'm eating lots.  I am being present in the present gratefully.

Do I ever know this!  I could make a list a mile long of things I want for the holidays that aren't really things at all.  I want children to not be sick, I want families to be together, I want peace, I want open-mindedness, I want kindness, I want families who want to have babies to be able to, I want cancer gone - the list could go on and on.  But none of these are things that Santa can just throw on his sleigh and bring.

Here's what I do love about Christmas though.  It's magical.  People are kinder.  They say please and thank you and Merry Christmas.  They smile more.  There is power in the season.  And I love that.

Give away something that can't be bought today.  I promise it'll be the best thing you do for yourself today.

:)

Be Here Now

I have a necklace that has engraved on it "Be here now." and I wear it often to remind myself to live presently in the moment.  I bought the necklace for myself a few years ago in the midst of the darkest time of my life when I was grieving my inability to have children.  I couldn't understand why this was happening to me, I felt guilty that I was dragging my husband on this roller coaster that he didn't sign up for, and I was frankly bordering on being really angry with God.  I caught myself being resentful and bitter - two traits that are not becoming on anyone.  And I was finding myself missing out on joy that was going on in my life without me.  I bought the necklace to remind myself that even though my present situation was not what I had planned for, my life was a gift and everyday was one that I wasn't getting back.  I didn't want to miss out on my niece & nephew growing up, or Kevin & I building traditions in our home, or my parents and the precious time we have with them, or my amazing friends and the nights we laugh until we cry…I didn't want to miss any of that in my quest to become a mom.  So I pledged to BE HERE NOW.

Well, as we have been preparing for Kamdyn - I've found myself relying on my old trusty necklace yet again.  Because not only in times of darkness is there a desire to hurry up, get on with life, and get to the destination - but in times of happiness (perhaps even more) there is a desire to "get there" - wherever 'there' even is?

And so today, I find myself reading and re-reading this quote from Maya Angelou and reminding myself that I will be present in the present gratefully.

Be present today, friends - Enjoy the season.

Miracles

I pray that when people look at my daughter, they always think about this exact quote.  

All throughout this struggle, I have worked really hard to never stop believing in hope.  I will not sit here and tell you that I have always been good at this, because I haven't.  Nor can I sit here and tell you that there haven't been days that I haven't cried myself to sleep or allowed myself to despair about the hand I was dealt.  However, I have always prayed that God would continue to put on my heart that His plans for my life are perfect.  I am so thankful that I never gave up hope.  I am so thankful that God chose me to walk this journey.

I am so thankful that every single day I will get to look at this beautiful child and have a living reminder that miracles do indeed happen everyday.

Keep Hoping, Friends -

Hardships

I came across this the other day and it really struck a cord with me.  As our story is getting out, people have emailed, sent texts and Facebook messages, and stopped me randomly to tell me how much our story has touched them.  I am saying this with humility because it is still extremely bizarre to me that this miracle is actually happening to me.  The is really MY life.  I am a very ordinary girl from a small town in Iowa.  I grew up with the "All-American" family - two parents who love each other and a younger sister.  I graduated from high school, went to college, and found my dream job.  I fell in love with an incredible man and we got married.  My story is no different than yours.  I am one person.  Yet, God is using my story in big ways in other people's lives.  And for that, I am eternally thankful.

When I saw this quote, it really spoke to me because I feel like I am finally in a place where I can see the hardship we faced for the blessing it truly was and still is.  Had we not gone through the past 3 years of infertility trials and heartbreak, the beautiful story of generosity and compassion that I'm living because of Julie & Dan wouldn't be - and in turn, the people our story has touched and inspired to perform intentional acts of kindness for others might never have occurred.  When I stop and think about the ripple effect of people who have been touched by the hardships Kevin & I have gone through, I get tears in my eyes.  Although I would've never chosen this journey for myself, I am living proof that God's plans for our lives are often far more than we could've ever dreamed for ourselves.

I'm challenging each of you to view the hardships you're facing today as an opportunity to bless and inspire others.  You never know where the ripple effect of you sharing your story will end.

Lots of Love,

The Best is Yet to Come

This little picture has gotten me through lots and lots of days where the sadness I feel about our inability to have babies has just overtaken me.  I'm not really a pessimistic person, so the glass is almost always half full for me.

That little sprout growing out of that huge tree stump is so symbolic to me of so many things.  I think about the hope that can come in the most impossible of places.  I cannot tell you the amount of emails or conversations I've had with people since blogging about this journey that have gone something like this: "we had trouble getting pregnant too" or "you have no idea the strength I've gained from reading about your battle - THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT IT".  These conversations humble me, but they also remind me that in the midst of this dark season in our lives, I might be providing hope for someone else.  It only takes ONE single light to lighten the dark.  Just one.

That little sprout also obviously symbolizes our future child(ren).  Growing out of the dark and hard time in our life.  But growing nonetheless.

And the thought that this is not our final destination is just such a remarkable reminder.  Although my present situation is certainly not what I would've chosen, it's exactly where I'm supposed to be - and for that, I will be thankful.

Be light today, friends.  :)

Glass

Amen.  I mean, seriously - I have nothing else to say today.  This image just speaks for itself and is precisely what I've been thinking.  The amount of complaining in our country is just plain ridiculous.  Three words to explain that: THIRD.WORLD.PROBLEMS.

The end.

Enjoy your glass today, Friends -