Finally Friday

This week absolutely flew by!  It's crazy to think that the 4th of July was already a week ago!  SLOW DOWN, time!  I'm not ready for summer to be over!

My brain is too tired to organize my thoughts into real paragraphs - so a bulleted brain dump is what you're getting today.

Enjoy :)

• My cousin Sara is in town this week.  I always love spending time with her.  She has always lived far away from us, but Kim and I have always really had a close and special bond with her.  She's not right on a lot of levels, but that's what makes her fun.
• Today is another get together for work friends - I really love those over the summer.
• I made the mistake of stopping into my classroom to drop some things off.  Wow.  It's not good in there, people.  I'll have to take some pictures to show you the hot mess going on in there.  Between the disorganization of furniture, the cleaning crew not putting things back where they found them, and the ceiling tiles/construction dust everywhere from the construction of an addition on our wing of the building - lets just say, an entire day is going to be needed to even feel like I can work in there productively.
• I finished an amazing Bible Study this week on the book of Ruth in the Old Testament.  Maybe I'll post more about that next week?
• I have been surfing Teacher Blogs this week and am beginning to feel just a little excited to begin making projects for my classroom, doing bulletin boards, and organizing my room into my home away from home for the year.  {notice I didn't really mention anything about really going back to school on a regular basis - I'm just interested in the fun things that I want to do!}
• I've mentioned on the blog before {here} that Kevin met his birthmother as an adult.  As an added bonus, we have gained a very large extended family.  Kevin's Uncle Larry came down for a visit yesterday and we were able to join him for dinner and conversation.  Kevin LOVES the opportunity to spend time with this part of his family.
• We have had guests/visitors in town for the past 9 straight days.  While we have loved every moment of spending time with people who have come to visit us, we are slightly glad to get things back to normal around here {whatever that even is anymore!}
• This weekend will be spent getting caught up, cleaning, catching up on my DVR, and possibly laying in the pool.
• My dear friend from high school, Jessica, called yesterday to say she was in town visiting her mom for the weekend and wondered if we could get together to catch up - I am SO EXCITED!  She was in town over Christmas for our annual get-together with our group of friends from high school, but I was really sick so I had to miss out.  I can't wait to see her!  

I think that's it for the brain dump.  I feel better now without that floating around in my brain!

Have a happy weekend, y'all {I'm clearly not from the South, but "y'all" is a really fun word to throw out there}

Pain

I found this image on a site one day as I was surfing the internet in search of comfort, answers, and hope.  When I saw it, I saved it in my "adoption" folder on the computer and figured I would come back to it someday.  The simple sentence on the plain black background struck me.  It's so simple, yet so very powerful.

The journey of infertility is filled with so many different emotions that sometimes it's all I can do to keep it all together.  The most frequent emotion throughout this path for me is difficult to pinpoint, but 'pain' is up there among the top few words that come to mind.

I am not usually someone who cries "it's not fair" or wonders "why me" - but I can't say that those thoughts don't creep into my mind or that I don't have to pray every single day that God will continue to keep those thoughts from my mind and heart.

The other night after everyone in my house was asleep, I was spending some time reading a book a dear friend graciously gave to me called Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake when the most beautiful words jumped off the page at me.  These are the words I have worked to put together for the past 3 years and they somehow managed to heal a small piece of the pain I'm carrying from this journey.

"While it is indeed a road less traveled, this winding way of childlessness was one I did not choose to tread.  I often limped along this uphill trail, kicking and fighting my way through the dense underbrush of discouragement.  But through the journey, God provided green pastures where my aching soul could draw comfort from the recognition that my loving heavenly Father approved the course before allowing me to take my first step."  - Hannah's Hope page 15

Here's the deal, it doesn't have to make sense to me now, or ever for that matter.  My human-ness simply cannot see or understand the bigger picture at play here anymore than I would be able to make out the beautiful scene of a 500 piece puzzle by merely looking at one single piece.  I have prayed throughout this uphill trail that God would use me and my story in powerful ways.  I don't know what those are, whether they are big or small is not my concern, when they happen in my lifetime is not something I worry about - I just find immeasurable comfort in knowing that this path that I am fighting my way through is one that was chosen for me by the God of the Universe.  The same God that created the sky and the sand, the same God that created the sun and the moon and the stars - that exact same God has chosen this path for me.  Who am I to change my little piece of this puzzle?  How do I know the big or small ways that my piece might change the bigger puzzle?   

Today, as I look at that image, I am able to say that each day the pain I carry makes a little more sense.

So What! Wednesday

Linking up today with Shannon at Life After "I Dew" for another installment of So What! Wednesday. This week I am saying So What to:

• I have stepped into my classroom a total of 2 times this summer and the place is a HOT MESS.  I am in big trouble when August comes around.
• My summer schedule is completely jacked up.  I stay up way to late and then want to sleep way to late.  I need to get my life back in order ASAP.
• We have next to nothing of substance in our fridge, freezer or pantry.
• My messy bun hairstyle has made an appearance for the past 3 weeks consecutively.
• I am in major need of a trip to Good Will - my closet is out of control
• I need to look back at previous So What Wendesday's to make sure I'm not repeating myself, and even so I'm still not sure if I am or not.
• I am so tired, I cannot think of one more thing to write.

What are you saying SO WHAT to this week?

Hope

This week has been hard.  Coming off the high of our 4th of July weekend, there have been some major challenges thrown at us with our surrogacy this week.  Things ranging from insurance to scheduling to personal questions to answer.  I have been pushed beyond where I thought my breaking point was, and guess what friends?  I'm still here.  Still breathing.  Still praying.  Still hoping.

I find in the midst of all the crap that's thrown at us on a frequent basis, that small word at the top of this blog post is often the ONLY thing that gets me through.  HOPE that God has this under control, HOPE that we are making the right decisions, HOPE that all of this will lead us to our baby.

If you believe in the power of prayer, I would ask that you pray for us this week as we continue to make decisions, attend appointments, speak with medical professionals, and finalize a schedule.  We are always seeking wisdom and grace through these very important decisions and an extra dose of HOPE can't hurt either.

You guys are amazing.  Thanks for caring about our family.  Thank you for being attached to our journey.  Most of all, thank you for HOPING with us.

Lots of Love,

{Reluctant} Monday Morning Musings

I have to admit, Monday Morning Musings during the summer don't really seem too bad since I don't work full time in the summer.  However, this Monday was the first in awhile that I didn't really want to come.  I have loved every second of this weekend between 4th of July traditions, extra time with my wonderful family, a friend's wedding, and Julie, Dan & Crew being in town - my tank is overflowing.  Even though both Julie & I were somewhat ready to get back to "normal" - we both wished "normal" didn't mean 4.5 hours away from each other.  You're about to be on picture overload of the fun we had this weekend!  :)

Gianna and I at the parade.  It was a beautiful day - not too hot and sunny.  I really wish Genevieve would let me hold her so she could make an appearance on this blog!  :)

Kaitlyn and Maicey at the parade - Maicey was in the parade as Miss Iowa's Outstanding Teen's princess.  She may or may not have genuinely believed that she was the prettiest girl in the whole parade.  :)

My brother in law, Rob is a wonderful cook - he set up his supplies and made the most delicious breakfast for everyone.

Kaitlyn and the beautiful Emma Kate {Miss Iowa's Outstanding Teen} who is a dear friend of our family.

The high school dance team I coach with my sister {Platinum} before the parade sporting their new uniforms.  I love them.

Emma & Maicey in their convertible.  Waving to their loyal subjects.  Memories they will never forget.  :)

Kaitlyn ended up being in the parade carrying the Platinum banner.  Even though she didn't wear comfy shoes, she still did a great job and had lots of fun.

Melt.My.Heart.

Maicey was in love with "those babies" as she kept calling them.  It's a little frightening to me how much these two resemble each other, no?

One of the rare pictures I can capture of my favorite boy, Sam.  {He never stands still long enough for me to snap one!} The boy has mad skills at catching anything being thrown at him as he is flying down the water slide at my parent's pool.  Too funny.

Hello Genevieve!  Thank you for not screaming when I got close to you.  Anyone else notice the grip she has on Julie's dress?!  She cracks me up.

Dan & Kevin with the twins.  Kevin has fallen in love with those girls.

Our family at the firework celebration.  Kevin can make fun all he wants of my red, white, or blue clothing requirement on the 4th of July - but nobody will argue the benefit of said requirement in family pictures.  Carry on making fun, babe - I'll take one for the team.  :)

Words cannot describe how much I love this picture.  That's the party that headed over to get a Tropical Snow to waste some time before fireworks.

This is one of the only pictures out of the other 15 in the series of these two.  I simply asked for a nice picture of my sister and brother-in-law.  The other 15 are either blurry or inappropriate for this family friendly blog.  I love them for so many reasons.  Mostly because they keep me from taking life too seriously and support my crazy dreams with every fiber of their being.

This woman is solely responsible for my marriage.  Jenny was my dance teacher growing up and remains the big sister I never had.  She and Kevin were best friends in college and she is how we met.  I am forever thankful.

                  

Those eyes melt my heart.

Mama and her girls. 

Shane & Cody {Julie & Dan's boys} - they are so sweet.  I adore them.

I know this picture made an appearance on the blog over the weekend,  but it's too good not to share again. 

Kaitlyn and one of her life-long friends Emma.  They are quite the pair.

Julie and Dan with their kids enjoying fireworks.  Except Gianna, she's just hanging out watching me take pictures of them.  That kid is a riot.

Other highlights of our weekend that I don't have pictures to go with included (but are not limited to...)

• Diana's wedding (I have pictures, but haven't uploaded yet)
• Late night convos with Julie & Dan
• Spending all day Saturday with Julie's family - I adored meeting the people who make her heart so full.  Her sister Molly and cousins Sean & Kristin were so kind and I loved watching them together.
• Having dinner with Julie & Dan and our kids on Saturday alone.  We didn't have much time just the 4 of us this week, so we enjoyed chatting without many interruptions.
• Watching their family mesh with all the people I love.  Everyone was anxious to meet them and although it should have been awkward, it wasn't at all.  Julie & Dan said many times how welcome and loved they felt this entire weekend and that makes my heart overflow.

Happy Monday, Friends.

Silent Weekend

Spending my weekend with my family.  As a super-duper added bonus, we also get to spend the weekend with Julie, Dan & their beautiful family.  Be back Monday with 4th of July updates and other fun.

Happy Weekend -

Independence Day :)

As a 5th grade teacher, part of the curriculum I teach each year is American history.  My favorite unit to teach is the Revolutionary War and the Declaration of Independence.  The bravery of these men and women is astonishing to me.  The determination they showed in standing up for what they believed in is inspiring.  I adore teaching my kids about the history of our country and the battles that were fought and won so that each and every single one of them will have the right to have a voice and further, the right to use their voice - whether they use that voice in small ways like a blog, a vote, or even a conversation; or in big ways - it doesn't matter.  There are millions of people around the world who would give anything for the freedoms we enjoy here in America and I will spend today being thankful for the men & women who originally fought for our Independence and for the men & women who continue to fight to defend those freedoms today.

God Bless America.