Hidden Chronicles of our Baby #3: The Wait

**I am writing this in real time and saving it for the right time to publish.  We feel like we need to wait until we have a signed legal contract in order to begin making our plans public.  There are so many emotions I go through each day that I want to be sure to get them down before I forget. :) **

June 10, 2013

The past week has been a little bit difficult.  We finally found a doctor who was willing to take us on, however their office is unwilling to talk to us without a signed legal contract.  With that being said, we are waiting for Julie and Dan to sign it and send it to us.  It's a really difficult position to be in because I don't want to pressure and my first priority is to ensure that they are comfortable with our agreement.  Yes, we want a baby more than anything - but this is NOT only about us...there is another family involved in this and I want to be respectful of where they are on this journey.

In addition to waiting for the contract, I have been spending time this week reading and doing research on the children of surrogacy and how they adjust to the way they were brought into this world.  I have done a lot of praying, reading, asking, and thinking.  It's been really difficult to remove myself from the situation as best as I can and really make sure we are doing what's right by this child we are creating.

Here's what we've come up with.  There are so many horrible stories of ways children in this world are conceived and brought into this world.  There are so many children in this world that live in homes where they don't have what they need or feel loved.  There are so many people in this world who are blessed with biological children for reasons that are unknown to me.  Our story is not one of those.  I am well aware that Kevin & I will not be perfect parents - but I also know there will not be a child who is loved more than this one.  We feel blessed that modern medicine has created this opportunity for us and even more blessed that God has placed Julie & Dan in our lives to carry out this plan.  We (obviously) have no intention of keeping the story of the way our child was brought into this world a secret.  We plan to share this story often.  We view this as a BLESSING and want this story to just be a part of who this baby is.  We want our child(ren) to know Julie, Dan & their kids.  We have had to come to terms with the fact that not everyone will agree with our decision - however, we have also come to the conclusion that as long as Julie, Dan, Kevin & I are okay with this and we feel like it isn't against what God would want for us and our families, we are comfortable with all of this and will choose to celebrate our story.

So, the long and short of it is this: The wait is HARD, but the journey is SO worth it.

Keep the Faith,

K :)